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Week Ending July 10th

 

 

07/08/2004 JJ

A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him, 'What's your IQ?'

The man replied, '150.' So the robot proceeded to make conversation about Quantum physics, string theory, atomic chemistry, and so on.

The man listened intently and thought, 'This is really cool.'

The man decided to test the robot. He walked out the bar, turned around, and came back in for another drink. Again, the robot asked him, 'What's your IQ?'

The man responded, '100.' So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on.

The man thought to himself, 'Wow, this is amazing.'

The man went out and came back in a third time. As before, the robot asked him, 'What's your IQ?' The man replied, '50.' The robot then said, 'So, you gonna vote for Bush again?

 

07/06/2004 CMS

THREE WOMEN -- ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY -- WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.
"THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID." I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING
FROM HER BEHIND. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID, "WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTIN' A FAX."

 

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